Stop Waiting for “Someday”

We all have dreams—big, bold visions of who we want to be and the life we want to live. But too often, we wait. We tell ourselves, “When I have X, I’ll do Y, and then I’ll be Z.” Maybe for you, it’s “When I have more confidence, I’ll start that business and be successful,” or “When I have less stress, I’ll pursue my passion and be happy.” For me, it was anxiety. I thought, “When I’m free of this fear, I’ll travel the world and be the adventurous person I’ve always wanted to be.”

That’s the have-do-be mindset—a trap that keeps us stuck, waiting for the perfect conditions to start living. But what if there’s a better way? A way to flip the script and step into the life you want right now? That’s where be-do-have comes in, and it’s the key to breaking free from waiting and embodying the person you’re meant to be. Let me share a quick story about my own journey with anxiety—not as the focus, but as a relatable example of how this mindset shift can change everything.

The Be-Do-Have Mindset: A New Way to Live

The be-do-have approach is simple but powerful. Instead of waiting for something to happen before you act, you start by being the person you want to become. Here’s how it works:

• Be: Decide who you want to be—confident, creative, brave—and embody that identity today.

• Do: Take the actions that person would take, even if they feel uncomfortable at first.

• Have: Watch as your life transforms to reflect that identity, bringing the outcomes you’ve been chasing.

This is about embodiment—acting as if you’re already the person you aspire to be, even when you don’t fully feel like it. It’s not about faking it; it’s about aligning your actions with your desired self. For me, that meant choosing to be adventurous, even with anxiety tagging along.

Years ago, I dreamed of backpacking through Africa, but anxiety convinced me I wasn’t ready. I told myself, “When I’m not anxious anymore, I’ll go.” That was classic have-do-be thinking—waiting for fear to vanish before I could act. But it never did. So, I flipped it. I decided to be an adventurous person, booked a flight to Kenya, and did the trip—driving a jeep through the wilderness, sleeping under the stars, anxiety and all. By the end, I didn’t just have an incredible experience—I had a new sense of who I could be. That’s the power of be-do-have.

Anxiety: A Limiting Belief in Disguise

Anxiety—or whatever’s holding you back—is often just a limiting belief, a story you’ve learned to believe about yourself. Somewhere in the past, you might have learned to be fearful, to play it safe. Your mind thinks it’s protecting you, whispering, “Is this still true? Are you still not capable?” It’s not trying to sabotage you—it just wants you to stay safe. But here’s the catch: safety doesn’t shrink those beliefs; it makes them bigger.

When I kept delaying my dreams because of anxiety, it didn’t go away—it grew. Every time I avoided a challenge, I reinforced the idea that I couldn’t handle it. But staying safe doesn’t just feed fear—it guarantees something far worse: a life full of regrets. By waiting, I was collecting “what ifs” instead of experiences. What if I’d traveled sooner? What if I’d taken that chance? The weight of regret was heavier than any anxiety I’d faced.

The only way to challenge those limiting beliefs is to act. When I stepped into that jeep in Kenya, I wasn’t fearless—I was terrified. But each mile I drove answered that question my mind kept asking: “Is this still true?” No, it wasn’t. I was capable. And the more I acted like the person I wanted to be, the less power anxiety had over me.

Embody Your Future Self Now

You don’t need to wait for your obstacles to disappear—whether it’s anxiety, doubt, or something else. The be-do-have mindset invites you to start now. Here’s how:

1. Decide Who You Want to Be: Pick one quality—maybe it’s courage, creativity, or resilience. Say to yourself, “I am this person today.”

2. Act Like That Person: What would they do? Take one small step—a conversation, a project, a leap—that aligns with that identity.

3. Trust the Process: You don’t have to feel ready. Embodiment is about action, not perfection.

This isn’t about ignoring your challenges. It’s about refusing to let them define you. My anxiety didn’t vanish in Africa—it came with me. But by choosing to be adventurous and do adventurous things, I created a life that reflected who I wanted to be, not who I was afraid I’d stay.

Regret or Growth?

Staying safe might feel good in the moment, but it’s a slow path to a life you’ll look back on with longing. Be-do-have offers a different way—one where you stop asking, “What if I can’t?” and start proving, “Yes, I can.” It’s not about erasing fear or waiting for the stars to align. It’s about embodying your future self today and letting your actions rewrite your story.

So, what’s one step you can take right now to be the person you want to become? Don’t wait for permission or perfect timing. Start small, start scared—just start. The life you want isn’t waiting for your limiting beliefs to fade—it’s waiting for you to begin.

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My mission is to empower people to discover their true selves by freeing them from the mental and social constraints that hold them back, and to assist them in becoming their best selves.

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